Trauma/Abuse

Hopelessness, Numbness, Memories

Mimi thought the worst had passed and that things would just get back to “normal.” However, in the struggle to move on, she realized she could not seem to get it together. There was a constant sense of hopelessness casting shadows on her day and night.

For Damien, he was able to get back into the thick of things but felt like he was just going through the motions and could not focus. There appeared to be a general numbness to things happening to him and around him. He wanted to become more engaged with people and things around him but couldn’t. He wanted things to matter to him rather than feeling like he was on the sidelines, watching life go by.

Aisha was a generous person and devoted her life to supporting others. She did not forget self-care in the process. Even though things were bad for a long time, she had worked hard to get to where she is now. She believed she had dealt with all the terrible past events – but something recently happened that brought it all back. She seems to have an overflow of thoughts, emotions and memories that are now impossible to keep out of her life.

The above three persons (fictitious) are examples of people who experienced traumatic events and are trying to do their best with what they have.

Storms of Life

Trauma, such as experience of abuse, can act as a storm in our lives. Negative, difficult or horrible events often feel like going through a thunderstorm, a hurricane, or even a tsunami. It is hard to predict when it will come and how long it will last. Some storms could have happened a long time ago when we were younger, but the effects are still present with us. And others are more current.

During the storm, we are often trying to find something or someone to hold onto so as not to be swept away. What happens afterwards?

For anyone struggling with the aftermath of abuse, the voice of the abuse might try to twist you in knots by making you wonder if you asked for the abuse by being ‘promiscuous’ as a child – or if you were weak because you did not tell anyone earlier – or if people might think you wanted the abuse because you did not stop it.

The voice of abuse may also make you think that the abuse wasn’t that bad because it was not “violent” or because the person who was abusive was also kind at times.

One big effect is that we often see ourselves through the eyes of the trauma. Many ideas, including societal messages, come together to get us to buy into the belief that we are ‘damaged goods,’ ‘broken,’ ‘bad,’ ‘crazy,’ or ‘worthless.’

Let me help you heal from your trauma.

Healing and recovery from abuse and other types of trauma frequently require getting professional help. In therapy, focus is on processing the trauma events, recovering and rendering visible a person’s response to trauma – the steps that they took to try to prevent or modify the trauma and its effects.

With such work in therapy, a deeper understanding of things we hold precious, purpose in living, and a sense of how to proceed in life usually restores one’s “sense of self.”

Please contact me at (301) 383-5620 or fill out the contact form below if what you’ve read so far resonates with you and you would like to explore further.